Day 1 of 28

i have been overweight for a decade.

and it affects me every day and in so many ways.  i have a hard time socializing because i feel awkward around people that dont struggle with obesity like myself.  i dont spend a lot of time making myself look pretty because most days i dont feel pretty.  i havent been on a date in three years because i dont feel like guys see the way that i want them to see.  i am not the person that i want to be because i have been holding myself back and making excuses for the way that i live and the choices that i make.  but this year is different.  this year is the year that i take responsibility for my health and for my life.  this year i am committed.

today marks the first day of a month-long cleanse.  i'm not doing the master cleanse, or some strange version of lemon water.  i'm not starving myself.  i'm not living off of chlorophyll.  what i AM doing is detoxing my body.  and setting myself up for success in getting fit and trim this year.  today is day one.  and these are my experiences with losing almost half of my body weight.

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Day 1

the cleanse that i have chosen to do is one that i call the livingfuel cleanse.  living fuel is a powdered raw organic mix of foods that you could live off of indefinitely (you can find it here).  i have tried using it before and failed miserably because i couldnt get used to the taste and the texture of the powder when i mixed it with water.  it was bitter.  it was grainy.  and even though the berry mix is MUCH more palatable than the greens mix i was still pinching my nose just to choke it down.  my biggest challenge going into this cleanse was finding a way that i could make this drink taste okay.  i tried icing the water before mixing it with the powder.  i tried adding lemon juice.  i tried to mix the two different powders, hoping that the berry would dilute the green enough to make it taste a little better.  but it wasnt until i mixed the berry powder with vanilla almond milk that i found a winning combination.  not only was it palatable, but it actually tasted amazing!  Finally i have hope that i can do this and not quit after the first day.

another problem i figured i would encounter is the temptation of having food around.  i know that i cant escape it.  food is everywhere.  and living with two teenage boys there is bound to be more exposure to food than normal.  so i thought of how i could encourage myself to stay true to what i want to accomplish with this cleanse.  the first idea i came up with was actually doing what i am doing right now: blog it.  this way i can hold myself accountable and keep a record of how i am doing daily.  the second thing i did, which is kind of child-like (but its my favorite way to count down to something!) was that i made a paper chain so i could take a chain off each day of the month and have a visual reminder of how far i have come.   on the fridge i posted pictures of myself from a few years ago as another visual reminder of what i am working towards.  the last thing i did was make little signs and hung them in the most important parts of the house: on the wall walking up stairs to the living room and kitchen, hanging when i open the cupboard, and in the bathroom on the mirror.   the only thing that i have left to do is to clear out the food from my cupboard and from my drawer in the fridge to eliminate that temptation as well.

so how did i do today?

so far i am feeling good.  the LFdrink keeps me full for about three hours and then i have to have another one, but im not feeling overwhelmed.  if my jaw hurts from not chewing i take out a piece of gum.  i drink water whenever i can.  and drink tea when i feel like it.  the only downside i am seeing so far today: the annoyingly high count of bathroom breaks.  i know that i will start having worse side-effects as i start to detox more and more but im hoping that the benefits can continue to outweigh the difficulties along the way.  day one: demolished.

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the last note that i want to make today is why i am doing this cleanse in the first place, of which there are many reasons.  first is that i need to clean my system of all the crap that is clogging it.  the second is that i might possibly jump-start some weight-loss with it.  and the third and most important reason why i am doing this is to prove to myself that i have control over my own body and not that it has control of me.  it will be hard.  it will be challenging.  it will be frustrating.  but most of all, it will be life-changing.

here's to another 27 days!